This is my dog, June. She is a dachshund. I am not a dog snob, but June is a pedigreed dachshund from the top breeder of Standard Red Dachshunds in my part of the US. She was not inexpensive.
   June is mentally retarded. And I say this with the utmost respect and sincerity. She truly is and I'll tell you all about it.
    When june was born, six years ago, it was her mother's second litter. With her first litter, she panicked and screamed and would not go near her pups...she was terrified of them ,and did not understand what they were. The breeder had to patiently tend to each pup as it was born, and introduce them to their mother. There was some hand feeding involved, but after a day or two, the mom accepted the pups and cared for them well.
   Now, I'm not a breeder, but I am a sensible person...so, I tend to think that any female dog who behaves this way really ought not be bred again . But they did. And the next litter was another fine litter of 5, all red, all smooth, standard pedigreed dachshunds with champion bloodlines. We picked out our pup at age 2 weeks, and were amazed that every pup was identical, and within 2 oz. of eachother in weight. Just beautiful!
   Well, seven weeks later, we went back to pick up our girl. We were the last to pick up, because I believe pups should be with thir mother a full 9 weeks minimum. I did not suspect a problem when I took June home. She was goofy and silly and sweet like any pup. Funny and lovely. She slept a lot, too.
   Over the next 4 months, it became apparent to me that she had developmental problems. She appeared slightly cross-eyed at times, didn't show emotion, seldom barked, made a strange sound that sounded like she was saying "bob", and she was coprophagic. That means she was a poop eater.
   Over time, more symptoms became apparent. June can't get on a chair or couch by herself. She chokes every time she takes a drink of water. She eats non- food items. Okay, lots of dogs do that. But if you filled her dog dish with crumbled leaves, orange peels and peppercorns,she would eat it. Every morsel. (just an example, I would never do that to her, poor thing.)
   June walks into walls and furniture. We had her looked at by 2 vets, because we thought she was visually impaired. She's not...They both call it Dumb Pup Syndrome, and it is brain damage caused by insufficient oxygen at birth. There's no cure, and she will always have developmental problems.
   Did I mention June will never be housebroken? Yeah...
   Then there was the problem of retaining her baby teeth. Totally unrelated to the developmental problem, but upon checkup at age 2, the vet found abcesses where her canine teeth are. Undescended baby teeth became decayed and she had severe bone damage in her upper jaw and cheeks. So, almost $2,000 and one very difficult, dangerous surgery later, June has had those teeth extracted and her facial bones reconstructed. There is composite bone in her face, and her cheeks look a tiny bit sunken. It was painful for about a month, but she was very well medicated for that. She had an awesome oral surgeon. He did a surgery on a mentally retarded dog that other vets would have just recommended euthanasia for.
   I've had many people ask me why I have gone to so much trouble for a dog that has no affection for me. No wags, no kisses, no eye contact, no looking deeply into my soul...
   It's simple, really. June is warm. June is brown. June smells good on the outside. Every once in a while, just for a second, she seems to connect with me. And then in a flash, it's gone. I live for that moment. It's like the movie, 50 First Dates. June just wants a place to be.
   But it's a challenge. June can't wear a collar. She'd hang herself accidentally. So she walks around naked. June has very little sense of smell because of the surgery...the lining of her nasal passages had to be removed due to the cysts. So she doesn't "mark" anything. Ever. She also has no idea that excrement smells. June cannot negotiate stairs. She has to have her food intake carefully monitored to keep her safe and her weight in check. Dachsunds are a gluttonous breed, but for June, it's exaggerated. June has 4 nipples on one side, and 3 on the other, and they don't match up. June can never be bred because she would think her puppies were a delicious warm snack made from her own butt. June cannot ever be punished for naughty things because it would be like shooting a mockingbird. Poor baby.
   June is very content and I really believe that we were meant for eachother. I love her, and she loves me. there's no doubt about it. I feel like she is my child, and that God has a plan that I was blessed to be part of.
Caring for June will probably go on for another decade. That's just fine with me. Sometimes I look at her, lying on her side, puddling in the sun like a deflated tire...I can hear her steady breathing and it's a lovely sound.
   June is, on the outside, other than the nipple count,  an extraordinary example of the breed standard. She is the canine equivalent of a supermodel. Stunningly put together. The head, the topline, the stance, the gait, the alignment of her hips and shoulders...the whole package is superb. How ironic.
   See her picture up there? She was whining in her dog bed so I went to see what was wrong. She had gotten ahold of one of Daddy's flannel shirts, and crawled inside a sleeve and could not get out. I quickly snapped the picture and then extricated my dog. Good thing I work at home, because June needs constant supervision. I thing there's gonna be a special place in heaven for me someday. For June, too. Bye now, Lin
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